Bit delayed…but I survived another Valentine’s Day at work (florist) and this scene was the only thing keeping me sane as I replayed it over and over again in my head whenever I got a whiny, angry customer who called way too late to get any flowers delivered and they went into “but I’m the customer, I have money, I want to pay a lot of money to you and you can’t say no to me!” rant…yeah too late, bro.
Customer: I need to have something delivered to Town, State and everywhere else I’ve called wants like $75 and I can’t afford that so can you do something for around $50?
Me: Yeah definitely, the delivery fee to that town is $15 and the minimum order is around $35.
Customer: I said can’t do that…I said I needed something under $75.
Me: …That would only be $53 with tax.
Customer: No. No. Ugh, you can’t help me? Ugh. Nope…never mind.
Customer: I want to cancel my order, you need to give me back my money right now.
Me: Ok, I will process the refund for you.
Customer: Will I get my money back immediately?
Me: That entirely depends on who you bank with or who you credit card is with. Sometimes it can take 5-10 business days.
Customer: I need it now!
Me: I understand, it has been refunded in my system. I can email a copy of that to you if you like, if you contact your bank they might be able to expedite things…
Customer: This is utter bullshit do you know that!? I want my fucking money back.
Me: Ma’am, there’s no need for the language you’re using. I am simply trying to be as helpful as I can.
Customer: Well you’re not helpful! Helpful would be giving me my money back right now!
Me:…Again, that depends on your bank, you need to contact them for more information regarding how long that process will take with them.
Customer: If I overdraft my account, I’m suing you for the fees! And for pain and suffering!
Me: Good luck. Have a nice day.
Customer: What did you just say to me?!
Me: I said ‘Good luck.’ and ‘Have a nice day.’
Customer: I’m going to come down there an…
Me: *hangs up mid yell*
Some people…are just dumb and you can’t even be nice to them.
Jimmy Fallon as Jim Morrison, singing the theme to “Reading Rainbow” ala The Doors.